When Murph Met Cindy

By Emily Beers

In CrossFit

October 13, 2011

PDF Article

Emily Beers explains why CrossFitters are happier dating their own kind.

It all began when I started training a new client.

Attractive, charming, irresistibly bratty—he was the guy most girls are shamefully attracted to. And although my client was a former pro lacrosse player and snowboarder, he had dedicated the last 10 years of his life to partying and getting girls as opposed to his fitness.

Never having had trouble attracting a girl in his life, this CrossFit newbie was immediately intrigued, and offended, by the way CrossFit women think.

It seemed he might have finally entered a world where, unless he started drinking the CrossFit Kool-Aid and added some load to his back squat, he might not be able to get the girl.



27 Comments on “When Murph Met Cindy”


wrote …

My girlfriend is a CrossFitter, and she has a badass hamstring line!!


wrote …

Crossfit women rule.


wrote …

Ahhhhh...youth. Hey I'm 50. After 150 Wall Balls or some heavy 1rmx deads, the only thing I'm looking to 'jump' is my foam roller and then the shower.


wrote …

James, At 47 years old, I feel the same way (unfortunately). That, and the fact that after 150 Wall Balls, my wife won't let me near her until after that shower!


wrote …

I completely agree with this article. I have been married for 8 years and started crossfit a little over a year ago. My husband started seeing the results I was getting and was SOOO sick of hearing about my workout day in and day out so he finally gave in and joined about 6 months later. Now, we compete against eachother whenever we do a WOD together or immediately discuss the WOD when we didn't, cook healthy meals TOGETHER and eat together every night, and I must say our attraction for eachother has definitely gone up as well ;) We had a great marriage but Crossfit has perfected it.


Julianne Taylor wrote …

Youth!? - that's what I'm thinking too!

Having been through a number of passions in my life, having an adaptable relationship that has strong core values is one that works. I'm 52. I've been with my partner for nearly 20 years. There is a whole lot more to life than CrossFit. What if one of you eventually finds a new passion and leaves CrossFit behind? What then - you break up?

What binds my husband and I is that we both value fitness and health, he goes to a standard gym I go to Crossfit. We both eat the same way. We have a family - teenagers who don't do CrossFit but have passions of tennis and soccer.

My husband and I have bigger things in life than CrossFitting, our careers, our teenagers, and wider families and friends.

I wonder if the author of this article has talked to older people in the CrossFit community? Those who do it with less religious fervor? I wonder how the author will see this article when she reaches her 50s?


wrote …

"..CrossFit girls are actually pretty hot...". Word


replied to comment from Julianne Taylor

Thank you Julianne for speaking my words. The sheer superficialness of this article is making it painful to read. Not every couple is supposed to be like Matt & Cherie Chan for stuff to work.


replied to comment from Julianne Taylor

As the author of this article...

I wrote this to generate controversy and discussion, even to offend a few people. I know I offend people around my gym all the time when I talk about this.

So I'm glad you responded with criticism.

And you're right - there is WAY more to life than CrossFit. However, we all have our 'superficial' moments from time to time, and never is that more evident than when trying to date. That being said, I'll probably end up with someone who can't stand the thought of CrossFit and be totally happy because like you said, there's more to life than CrossFit.

Thanks for the comment. This place needs more discussion.


wrote …

CFJ needs to reduce the quantity and increase the quality of the articles that it publishes.


replied to comment from Tony Webster

....like the old days.....


wrote …

This article is ridiculous at best. I've tried to get my wife to CrossFit, but it just doesn't interest her. Maybe one day it will, but my relationship isn't disintegrating because of that. This article is what happens when CrossFitters take the kool-aid thing a little too serious in their own lives. CFJ needs to publish an article on the psychological impact of this community and compare it to the Branch Davidians. Now THAT would be an interesting read. All of this seems to me like some sort of propaganda used to convert people to the ways of CrossFit as HQ would like for it to be. However, all that being said, CrossFit is huge part of my life and my wife thinks I'm a kool-aid drinker. There's your proof...you don't have to be brainwashed, people.


wrote …

^^what he said. the article is absolutely insane. this sort of devout fanaticism is what drives people away from crossfit, and makes us all look like a bunch of crazies.


Ben O'Grady wrote …

File this one under humor. I prefer not to date chicks from my gym because the potential for drama is too great...there are already enough rumors and whisperings going on. I do prefer to date athletic, sportsy girls, but really any sport will do as long as she's passionate about whatever she's doing.


replied to comment from Tony Webster

Unnecessary. The more articles I come across and read, the more it becomes clear to me the huge differences between one person to another.


replied to comment from Ben O'Grady



wrote …

Maybe because I'm still young I can relate better, but this speaks to me 100%. But I have always been attractive to athletic girls, I never like model type. I might be crazy, but at least I'm not the only one.


wrote …

I agree with the comment about this article being superficial and painful to read. There is so much more to a strong relationship than Crossfit. What if a person gets injured and gains weight? As someone overweight, or "soft" as the article puts it, it has been hard enough starting CF. I already self-conscious and reading this article only adds to it and makes me think "soft" newbies have no place in this community. Obviously no one is attracted to us! I am extremely disappionted and hope more sensitivity will be used in the future.


wrote …

Overall, I think Crossfit community might benefit* from going a little more mainstream and reduce some of the 'cult-like' fervor.

*Measurable benefits include:
- Increased long-term membership
- reduction of the 'extreme' perception
- overall adoption of the crossfit lifestyle among the world's fitness seeking people.

As an mainstream observer, there is a huge mainstream & conservative audience of the world that are immediately turned-off by "the extreme" and over the top perceptions, "youth centricity", cussing in the videos.

I laugh at the cussing and extreme and youth centricity in the video's because it is funny sometimes, but I see this and the other 'extreme' perceptions as a hurdle that will need to be addressed before this goes mainstream and the masses go running to crossfit, truly helping the majority.

Me: Crossfit in my home garage for nearly 3 years. LOVE the results and science base including nutrution and all the videos. I do some special event Hero workouts at the local box. I am totally sold on the science and I am now 2x fittest that I've ever been in my 43 years. I'll be attacking the crossfit open again next year and hope to compete in the masters! Meanwile, 80% of everyone that I know are convinced that I'm having a midlife crisis with a cult. (LOL!)


wrote …

While extreme might turn people away it also makes other turn towards CrossFit. You can't please everyone. I don't mind being underground, as long as we are respected. I don't do p90x but I respect the program. It's just not more me, and I believe CrossFit makes me more fit. There are plenty of other ways to get in shape and be happy if you don't like the extreme. But I personally wouldn't enjoy CF as much if it wasn't extreme.


wrote …

Since I've been crossfitting my sexual energy and stamina has skyrocketed. This has only been good for my marriage. I especially enjoy the testosterone surge that comes from heavy deadlifts.

My wife also Crossfits and we enjoy each other much more on a weekly basis in our early 30's than we ever did in our 20's.

Maybe TMI but I just wanted to agree with the author that when both people Crossfit, it's better for the relationship.


replied to comment from Tony Webster

I agree with Tony.


wrote …

My wife hates crossfit, and our marriage is in shambles right now, superficial or not, I have to agree, if you and your spouse are going in different directions, and dont share some similar passions it will hurt the relationship. Crossfit or no crossfit.


wrote …

Really? Come on people, lighten up. The article, IMO, was meant to be humorous and controversial, not an RX for life. I’ve been married for 20 years and CFing for nine months. CrossFit has changed my life in that I look at fitness in a whole new light and have some sick desire to see what type of abuse I will eagerly endure with today’s WOD. I love CrossFit! That said, Crossfit has not impacted my marriage in one way or the other. My wife says CrossFit is not for her and I’m fine with that. We have so many more things that bind us together, faith, friendship, family, values, and yes – great sex. She doesn’t share my passion for CF, but she supports it. She must if she just let me spend a year’s worth of box dues on equipment for a home gym.

And as Ms. Beers says in her reply “there is WAY more to life than CrossFit…. I'll probably end up with someone who can't stand the thought of CrossFit and be totally happy because like you said, there's more to life than CrossFit.” I think she gets it.


wrote …

Wow! I'm amazed at some of the comments on this article! I love the CrossFit Journal, but I don't necessarily read or get into every article, so if this is not of interest to you, then don't read it. I thought it was a great article, entertaining and one that resonates with me. I am new to crossfit and am a part of an amazing crossfit community. My experience has been that crossfitters are a very different and driven group of people, and that is a huge attraction to me in terms of the people I choose to be friends with or the guys I date. Obviously there are a lot of people who don't necessarily share the same love for working out, yet have great relationships, but I have noticed and been envious of the couples in our box who share this great lifestyle, and I noticed that long before I read this article. I enjoyed it, and personally agree with it. Thank you!!


replied to comment from Emily Beers

I think the article did just what Emily intended, and it was an enteratining read. Maybe I think this way because I am 25 and in a CF relationship. I was so anti-commitment until this girl, but its like she is just a hot chick version of me. If either one of us decided to quit crossfit, the other wouldn't be upset. We both are extremely physical and adventurous people and that's what is important. Crossfit just makes it extremely easy to express that type of personality. Thanks Emily


replied to comment from Travis Leyva

Well said

Leave a comment

Comments (You may use HTML tags for style)