Into the Light

By Niki Rhodes

In Athletes, CrossFit

August 06, 2012

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Niki Rhodes was a heroin addict. She says CrossFit helped save her.

Let’s start on a foggy night in July 2008 in San Francisco.

I’m waiting for the arrival of my only tool for survival. One month earlier I turned 25. As I wait, I wonder how I have made it this far in life—as if turning a year older was some sort of feat. For most this is not a serious accomplishment, but for a girl in the depths of a chronic heroin addiction, turning 25 was nothing short of a miracle.

I’m cold and the fog is so thick it leaves a layer of mist on my face, stinging my skin. The chills and sweat of the “sickness” of withdrawal has made me sensitive to cold and I wonder what is taking this bitch so long.

Fast-forward.

I’m lying on a cement floor, not sure where. Nausea and vomiting has taken over. If I should be scared of this foreign place, it doesn’t occur to me. Two weeks into being in jail I realize where I am. The morning I realize this, I feel relief. The next two weeks of life are filled with boredom and court dates. When I am released, I have a court order to yet another rehab. Maybe life will fare well for me in a new place and off to sunny Palm Springs I go.

Here we go for another attempt at sobriety. I am not optimistic.

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18 Comments on “Into the Light”

1

wrote …

Amazing story! Thank you for sharing and inspiring through your struggles and triumphs!

2

wrote …

Loved it

3

wrote …

Niki, you are an amazing woman and I am so proud to call you my friend. I've so enjoyed our Crossfit adventure together. It's a miracle how Crossfit has changed so many of our lives. I love you!

4

wrote …

WOW! I didn't know this would be on here today! Thanks guys! Kim I love you too!

5

wrote …

great story. Niki, I believe life is about experience and the experiences you have had, although they were destructive and selfish in nature and nothing to be made light of, they have stripped you down and forged you into a human being that now shines with brilliance and selflessness and it seems that this now allows you to grasp every new experience with a different view. just my opinion. Keep up the great work!!!

6

wrote …

What an inspiring story! not only are you a talented artist with paint, but also with words. Thank you for paying it forward!

7

wrote …

Your story is my story and im grateful that you have shared your experience, strength and hope! keep coming back!

8

wrote …

Wow! Congrats. Brought a tear to my eye...Inspiring, as typical of the Crossfit community which I've learned only in the past two weeks since I started CF.

9

wrote …

What a story of strength that most of us will never understand. Thank you for sharing it with everyone Niki....once again reminds me of why our community is SO important!

Miranda

10

wrote …

Amazing story Niki. Loved the article, especially the part about surviving a traumatic experience and coming out victorious on the other side. That is the key bond between crossfitters, and what makes the community so strong. Great work, and I hope you continue on your path!

Oh, and I just wanted to post something after Miranda Oldroyd - you are an icon and a goddess! :)

11

wrote …

Niki, You should start a Crossfit Gym to help women in need from addiction. Huge success story for you and that success could be great for many people. Congrats.
David

12

wrote …

This is an amazing story! I always say that if you dont want to help yourself no one will do it for you! Nikki you are a true champ!

13

wrote …

Wow! Tears in my eyes! Go NIKI!!!!!

14

Rob Barrese wrote …

Excellent story Niki. Thanks for sharing.

15

You Go Girl! Stay fit - Stay w/ it!

16

wrote …

I'm not an emotional person but this article moved me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing and glad you are doing so well. CrossFit does some amazing things.

17

wrote …

Nikki - no better way to be a POE (power of example)....your story - struggle and triumph is near and dear to my hear in so many ways....ODAT baby.

If you want what we have, do what we do...applies to every part of ourselves and our lives...God bless!

18

wrote …

Thank you all for your comments on here and on FB. and thank you for those who contacted me through my art page. I wrote this story a while back and had almost forgotten about it when it appeared here on the journal. It is great for me to be able to share this with you all, and all of your feedback has brought tears to my eyes.
What I have learned on my lives journey this far is, Never give up and never stop helping others. As long as I am doing those two things this life will fair well for me.

Thank you again.

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